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Heather:
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
It was Saavik.
= to all who disagree.
Marla:
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I really REALLY like this story! And I really like how Saavik
toes it with the Romulan commander (I'll be damned. . .It would be fortunate if
you were.) It just kills me how good you write. No kidding. I mean, here you
are doing a quad whammy story----writing in first person (which is literally the
HARDEST person to write from), coming from a character that there's not a whole
heck of a lot on (Sulu), having to stick to a specific word count, and tackling
a court styled scenario. HARD. And you pull it off. FASCINATING ;)
I also really like the liners you've got going---both between characters and the
ones inside Sulu's head.
And I like how you keep dignity. They don't pop in and out of character.
Everything done or not done (depending on the moment) seems entirely possible
for the characters to do. Cause the three are good friends and would dive in
and they don't really know Saavik well enough to make a safe assumption and they
are just human enough to keep putting what they would do on top of her. Which
is why I enjoy their anger and hurt over thinking
that she suddenly didn't do it. And her sudden realization that nothing matters
in the case to her but now how the ones she considers worthy of giving her life
and career to suddenly do something that hurts her very deeply. You're right
about her silence and withdrawing and their sudden guilt. Because she's just
put everything that matters on the line, nearly getting the life pummeled out of
her and here they are feeling this.
Then you have the Pike / Spock liner pop in and blow everybody reading
one last time.
Amy:
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Those contest people were stupid to let this go!
One little thing: I so wanted Spock to come leaping to her defense ::sigh::
Awesome job!
Sonar/Pavel_Chekov:
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Sweet, keep going!
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