Kerjen - Star Trek: Duty by Kerry

Jenny:

Beautiful Kerry! It turned out so well. I absolutely love the ending you gave it! I love their simple understanding of each other and Saavik's generousity in sharing with Spock what she knows he would never ask for: her memories of Amanda in this time!

I always get puzzled by time line stories like this. I worry them around in my head until I get so confused. I did it with all of the Guardian stories. I wonder if Spock remembers this storm and the woman his mother was so intent on helping from when he was a child?

Heather:

I love it. I was jumping in my seat the whole time! And let me say right now, I want to see the Babel story!

I liked the language, the pacing, and the way it all came together -- the Guardian, the historian, and how Saavik came to be in Amanda's time. And I always had a clear idea of what was going on and how Saavik was feeling.

>A footfall, the sound of its weight and tread familiar to her... safe.

I like how she equates safe w/ Spock, and even w/ that footfall, she calls out to him.

>But Amanda, Saavik reminded herself before blacking out again, was dead.

I love it!! what a great prologue!!!

>"T'Pring!" The voice was firm now, commanding.

OMG!!

>"T'Pring," Saavik whispered. "Yes, T'Pring. After all, who else would be calling for Spock as her husband?"

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Kerry, you are so evil!

>So I know it's very much my Spock you called for earlier, even if I can't explain the rest of this.

Oh, poor Saavik. Think how much she would want to alter and can't.

>She tried making connections, but her brain refused, preferring to focus on things like how different Amanda looked, dusty and dirty in her sandsuit.

I like how she wants to see Amanda, not matter what time or how she is!

"You're an adult, T'Pring, and most likely, you know I first opposed your and Spock's betrothal. Not because of you personally. I -- questioned any such match. You've shown me my objection was wrong, and I -am- gratified by that."

oh, damn! No, Amanda, no! It's so touching that Saavik never jumps up and screams "I'm not T'Pring!"

>I must have told you by now how much Sarek and I wanted a daughter." A few drops of her perspiration fell into the open gash, the salt a sharp sting, but it's not what caused Saavik's caught breath.

Oh, god... Kerry, i hate you. you're so good at this!

>"Mother." Amanda's voice was flat. "You're leaving." Saavik looked down at her. "Yes."

This is so sad!! And unfair!

>Amanda watched her, eyes flicking back and forth. Then she smiled. "I won't say goodbye."

That's so Amanda-like!

I applaud you. Thank you for adding more to the ending!! I especially loved the part where Spock said how the historian did harm to Saavik -- and you just know how much he wanted to go in after her, and accidentally stumble across Amanda.

That was beautifully written --- and once again, we see how much Saavik has to sacrifice. She couldn't even give Amanda a *hint*. You know, if Saavik had left Amanda some sort of memory, she would have accompanied Sarek and Spock on the Hellguard rescue mission, and then probably would have raised Saavik herself.

Amy:

Stunning! Suffice to say I’ve never thought of that concept. I love the way you characterized Amanda (God, she rules). I’ve never quite figured out which rules more, your canon or your AU :-) (Fires vs. Race Kids vs. Mourning)

Marla:

This is a very sensitive piece. Saavik is so often such a strong character, that it is pleasing to see when she is "weak", when she is sorely tempted and even justified possibly in giving in. And what is even better, she doesn't. I laughed when Amanda naturally assumes Saavik is T'Pring--what an irony! And I am glad that Saavik manages to meld duty with kindness--it would have hurt Amanda far more to learn in dying what her heart in living always wanted to see. It is good however to see her son get one more chance to "touch" his mother. Of them all, I think I grieve the most for Saavik. To be there, to see Amanda, and yet be denied even to be your own self--forbidden even to give joy to one who will never see it--I think this would have been the greatest hardship. Yet, I also think that Saavik will always be grateful for even this "part" touching. Because it is still more than she has in her own time.

I love how she is so focused on Amanda's physical presence. The dirt and the dust even of her. Like she is trying with all her might to believe that she truly is real and alive again--and that somehow it can stay so. Even as she knows this is not to be her's. It is all longing and hope and an almost little girl's wistful desire to keep her mother.

Good work!

Joanna:

This is excellent; getting to see Amanda again and then Amanda mistaking her for T'Pring. What a twist! And getting to hear Saavik's thoughts about all she wants to share with her but can't.

Did 11 year old Spock glimpse her? It would make that recognition in PP clear.

This was great!

mzsnaz:

I read "Duty" and loved it. Honestly, it had me choked up with the whole scene with Saavik wanting so much to tell Amanda about her grandchildren. I'm wondering if you are still planning to write the story that takes place during the 'Journey to Babel' episode? I have this image of T'Pren accidentally bumping into Amanda and realizing who it is from the holographs in her grandfathers house running through my mind. So, am I anticipating this story, or what! Coming up with my own scenes...

Schematization:

What a wonderful way to make the reader stop and think and then force us to have to wait for your next piece, 'Journey Back To Babel'. It's fantastic and complex. As well as considering the characters that are the basis of your story emotional, with so much going on for Saavik. and the wonderful way you have of brining Amanda into this, somehow letting the reader's know of the closeness that was between the two women, that Amanda seemed unable to really attain with Spock but now does with his bondsmate. It's an intricate and entrancing tale and I look forward for your continuation of it!!