Setik lived in dark times. In the space of a Federation standard year, his family was gone.
An exaggeration. He breathed in slowly of the garden's fresh air, and exhaled just as slowly.
Logic reasserted itself. His family suffered grave losses, true, but it still survived. It was only...
coming home brought his mourning fresh to his mind.
Kneeling on one of the meditation stones in the garden's enclosed section, his brown healer's
robes absorbed the heat of the sun filtering through the trees. The sun felt good. Being back on
his homeworld was good. The empty house was not.
He knew he must face the emptiness rather than bury it. A suppressed problem only festered
under one's control causing other damage. He steepled his fingers and closed his blue eyes,
making his first entrance into a meditative state.
Where did the pain start?
Mother died.
The answer surprised him. Logically, the family's problems began with the argument between
Spock and Perrin over his view of the Cardassians against Sarek. Perrin objected to the seeming
betrayal and made sure Spock knew it. It caused a wedge in the family, and yet, when Setik
thought of his pain, he didn't think of this. Was that because he had grown so used to the silence
dividing his family in half? Or was losing his mother, Saavik, so much more painful?
The question answered itself.
Saavik being killed with her entire team on a covert mission for Starfleet Command was a
horrible, still unhealed, scar. He recalled how, on that third day of the team listed as missing, he,
his sisters, and his father had felt the horrible break in their bond to her. Only death caused such
destruction, and the family knew before anyone in Starfleet that Saavik was lost.
His mother's death hurt Setik more than he thought possible. He had stood next to Spock
recalling stories of how losing Amanda had torn her son apart inside.
"I grieve, Father."
Spock had looked across to his daughters, T'Pren standing silent -- T'Pren, speechless! -- next to
her twin, T'Kel, whose fist rapped against her thigh in so small a movement, it was almost
undetectable. His voice was hoarse with the loss of a wife whose katra could not even be brought
home. "We all grieve, my son."
Mother's katra!
None of Saavik's family was home for the Katra fí-Salan -- the Souls in the Wind ceremony
when lost katras were mourned. If I had been home, Mother, as I will be this year, what incense
could I possibly create for your Essence bowl? How I will create that symbol of you?
His father had reeled under his mourning and went into the desert, not returning until he had
some control over the pain. For only too brief a time the remaining family gathered together
before Spock's belief in Reunification took him into the Romulan Star Empire. The second loss
to the family: the father who was very much alive, but his absence keenly undergone.
And then, Grandfather died. Setik opened his eyes and swept them around the garden, the one
Sarek first built for his wife, Amanda. Their grandson knew every plant, how to care for it, the
beddings and other garden decorations. Like his father and T'Pren, he had added his own touches,
but some of it was the original plants and landscaping from the first days when Sarek and
Amanda created it all.
His grandfather used to be a huge presence in his life. He missed Sarek, missed his strength and
wisdom, and missed that guidance as much as he longed for Saavik's and his father's. With
Sarek's death, Perrin returned to Earth, perhaps for good. That left the estate and responsibility
for House and Family on Setik's young shoulders. He thought himself unprepared and unworthy
of his new status, but his bloodline was noble and ancient. He was not going to be the reason for
it weakening.
And yet, what he would give for his parents' advice or for Sarek to be well and shouldering the
burden.
He closed his eyes again.
Losing Sarek started with his failure under the Bendii Syndrome, and seeing that created a
turning point in Setik's life. The syndrome was hereditary in some cases. That meant Spock
might have it, or Setik's sisters, or himself. And we will not know until we are over two hundred
years old. When it was too late.
His concern made Setik follow the cause other healers pursued: If a way existed to diagnose the
syndrome earlier, perhaps its growth rate may be slowed, perhaps a cure might even be found. It
was why Setik canceled his plans for a career in Starfleet Medical and began studying Vulcan
epidemiology. He joined the ranks dedicated to wiping out Bendii Syndrome, his own inner goal
being its eradication before it took another member of his family.
But changing his career plans made him apprehensive over McCoy being disappointed in him.
All those years they had talked about Setik following his ‘godfather' into a career as a Starfleet
physician -- how to tell him his change of mind? In his meditative pose, the taut line of his
shoulders relaxed as he heard his Sa-mekh-rá's answer again.
"Boy, you could become a stand-up comedian, and I would still be proud of you. I'd be confused
over why would you ever do such a thing -- because let's face it, you'd be horrible at it -- but I'll
always be proud you."
His tension came back as his mind naturally went back to Sarek. At least he and his sisters had
reached home before their grandfather died, just missing Jean-Luc Picard's visit. Sarek had stared
at his grandson and mistook him for his father. "Spock?" the weakened voice had trembled.
Then, when Sarek reached out to put a hand next to his grandson's blue eyes, Setik thought his
grandfather realized his mistake and was found wrong again. "Amanda," the old man had
whispered and drifted back into his tortured visions. It was until his sisters stood with Setik that
Sarek recognized his grandchildren; it was the last time they saw him cognizant. It wasn't much
longer before he died.
Setik stayed only long enough for his grandfather's Vok-Van-Kal, his memorial service. Then he
went offworld, driving himself in seeking answers. He looked amongst the Rigelians who were
so different externally from Vulcanoids, but who internally rivaled Setik's own people. He was at
this research until two days ago when he returned home to the family's estate. Sarek dead, Saavik
dead, Spock hidden behind the Romulan Neutral Zone and in danger, and Perrin gone to Earth;
not to mention T'Kel and T'Pren away with their own studies and careers. The house was empty
save for the estate manager and staff, and the family's sehlat.
Without opening his eyes, Setik quirked an eyebrow at himself. The past evening, he kept
Ko-kan in his room with him, wanting the company as much as the sehlat did. Immature and
illogical, but it had helped.
He was lonely. Fatigued from the intense work, in pain from loss, and lonely. That is what he
faced, and with his problems in his conscious, he entered meditation.
Hours later, he stretched and entered the house. The returned calm and peace was as it should be.
The fatigue banked so it no longer drained him, and the emptiness now under control. And yet,
he still lacked his usual vigor. The thought of his work didn't stimulate him at all.
He wasn't concerned. His mental lethargy was being dealt with tonight. On his homecoming, a
few people had contacted him. T'Selis, almost as alone as him, and his cousin, T'Sha, both well
aware of the empty home Setik returned to find. Descended from Sarek's first cousins, T'Sha and
her siblings were raised with as strong a family bond as Setik and his sisters were. And T'Selis....
T'Selis faced the danger and possible loss of her own person in the Romulan Empire.
Both women had diagnosed what was wrong with him in the first few minutes of his greeting,
and both offered a remedy. T'Sha's was this evening.
"The most dedicated mind needs an occasional diversion, Cousin. I suggest you accompany
Adelek and I tomorrow night. We are attending an it'enhval performance with every dance
choreographed to the late composer Serijek's music. And that is not all. T'Pel herself is the lead
tamsu, not to mention the second lead being a woman once her protegee. How can you not see
such a work that combines the greatness of Serijek with such featured dancers?"
She was most definitely correct. The performance promised excellence, and he did need the
diversion. Plus, T'Sha was always good company, and her bondmate, Adelek, was a friend of his
since boyhood. Setik always pondered on the curiosity of Adelek's parents giving him such a
non-traditional name and yet bonding him at seven years of age. Unlike himself who was
traditionally named and unbonded so he may choose his wife. But at twenty-four standard
Federation years old, the ways of parents remained a mystery, and he was content for it to be so
at the moment. He was quite certain that when he was a father, he would make much more sense
to his children.
He checked his appearance one last time, thinking he should trim his growing hair and beard. In a
few months, he would take part in the Van-kal Vesht-var, the ceremony honoring Vulcan history
and a family's ancestors. He needed longer hair and a full beard to reflect the part of time he
would represent, but for attending something as the performance tonight...
In the end, he brushed his hair, darker even than his parents, into trimmed bangs with the rest
back behind his ears, the length only a bit past his collar. His beard was too short for needing
trimming, but was at least past being stubble. He was under strict orders from T'Sha not to don
his healer's robes; she said that wearing them did not allow for a full distraction. She even gave
him instructions on the dark blue tunic, black tabard vest and pants she expected to see him wear.
He added a gray cloak as the concert hall was open air and drew cool breezes from the nearby
desert.
He suddenly stopped and stared at his reflection. Yes, the hair was darker and his eyes the
sapphire blue of his paternal grandmother. However, other than that, it was his father's face. As
the breadth of his shoulders and chest came from Sarek. It was somehow.... comforting.
He strode down empty hallways and past the closed bedroom doors belonging to his family. He
hadn't moved his father's belongings into Sarek's room as he should have. Spock made no
indication he wanted such a thing, anymore than Setik wanted to move up to his father's room. In
fact, Saavik's personal belongings still inhabited the bedroom she had shared with Spock their
entire marriage.
Setik stopped outside his parents' room and almost entered. In the end, he walked away, never
crossing that threshold.
He took his seat in the Academy's concert hall next to Adelek at the agreed time, but T'Sha
nevertheless leaned over to assure herself he was there and properly dressed.
"Is something wrong with your seat?" Adelek asked her with feigned innocence.
She raised mocking eyebrows. "A family matter, my betrothed."
He shared a look with Setik as T'Sha settled back, satisfied. Setik raised an eyebrow at his friend,
companions from before the bonding with his cousin. He must admit; he in no way wished his
parents had bonded him at an early age in the Kan-telan ceremony, but it worked for Adelek and
T'Sha. He also commended their logic for learning about each other before pon farr called them
to Koon-ut-kal-if-fee.
They asked him what other plans he made, and listened as he talked about his return to work as
well as dinner with T'Selis and her family on a later night. His gaze drifted in the direction where
Saavik's own house was, as untouched as her belongings in the estate bedroom.
"Why do you need another house?" he once asked her.
"I built it for myself long before I married your father," she had answered.
"But why keep it?" T'Kel demanded.
"For your father and I. As a private retreat."
"Which means?" T'Pren asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow, and appalled his son and daughters with his answer. "Child-free
housing."
Adelek's voice broke into the memory. "Setik?"
He blinked, the stronger controls every healer needed for their elevated psi abilities clearing his
mind. "I am well."
Adelek followed the direction of his gaze, and must have understood his thoughts even though
they looked at a wall.
"Do you remember, Setik, when as children, we decided we needed to see that other house your
mother kept? You and your sisters, plus Seleren and I, all becoming lost after trying to follow her
and your father? The look Saavik gave us? I will tell you this. I had to face a le-metya once and
your mother that day. I am still unsure which was worse."
Setik lifted an eyebrow. "You are unsure only because you did not have to go home with my
parents. The latter of your experiences was certainly the more dangerous." His attention turned to
the stage as the orchestra signaled the beginning of the performance. In a quiet voice, he spoke.
"Thank you, Adelek."
The overture was vibrant, whisking away anything but the audience's attention. The first dance
was solely T'Pel's. Setik saw the featured tamsu only once before, some years ago... with Sarek,
large and powerful in the seat next to him.
Kroykah.
He focused on T'Pel, eventually forgetting all else except appreciating her flawless talent all over
again. T'Sha was correct. He needed this.
The second dance also soloed T'Pel, and the grandness of her skill left no doubt why she was
held in such an esteemed class. It elevated him into a proper mood even for the first strains of the
third piece: Serijek's classic I Go On. The account of a young woman bereft of house and family,
her struggles, and her eventual triumph. He first heard it as a boy when his father played it and
thought it was about his mother. He heard again the strings of his father's lytherette, and once
more saw the eyebrow go up when he told Spock his idea.
The orchestra blended the trailing notes of the second symphony into the third, and a second
woman joined T'Pel on stage during its last steps. She matched her former teacher in the final
strains of music until they snapped together in a decisive stance. They remained that way in the
beat of silence before the opening chords of the third musical piece, and Setik's heartbeat paused
with them. They existed in a timeless contrast and mirror to each other. The second dancer,
despite her dusky skin, was lighter than the dark T'Pel, and her ebony hair drifted past her
shoulders. But they were the same basic height and build, their eyes the same darkness, and most
importantly, they had the unmistakable quality of presence.
Then the music again and T'Pel shifted to a secondary position until she left with a graceful
gesture that gave the stage to the other.
The now alone dancer swung into her first motion, riveting Setik to her. From his seat, he
watched dark, almond eyes sweep the audience and felt his heart skitter in beat when they passed
over him. It was like she saw him, picking him out from the crowd in the dark. His mind couldn't
even form a reprimand that he was being foolish.
She wore the abbreviated body stocking and drape typical of the tzeirsa dance style she was
performing. The body piece left her arms and legs free, and the cloth tight to her body. The drape
was attached to her shoulders and she manipulated it with her hands, enveloping herself in it at
some points and in others, using it as a backdrop to her movements. The fabric for the entire
costume, including drape, was a muted kind of surface, a bare gloss with the colors changing
within it. He knew she influenced its color by using her biocontrols to punctuate the mood in
each portion of the dance.
He was a healer. He appreciated more than anyone, with the exception of the tamsu themselves,
the strength of mental discipline and biocontrols it took to change different portions of the body
-- her torso, her slippered feet, her hands, and each individual finger -- in order to change the
cloth into separate colors. No wonder tzeirsa performances were judged not just on the dance
itself, but the control within the dance. This woman seemed expert in it.
Solemn heavy beats from the tzn'ozv drums sounded first. He instantly recognized the sound
since both he and his sister T'Kel studied how to play them. The person sounding them now was
a master like all the orchestra. The deep booms resonated, somber and deep, like the judgment
hammer of a tribunal --until a pause followed by an almost screaming note of strings. Here T'Pel
left and the remaining tamsu flung herself into the first portion of I Go On: Chaos.
Almost frantic, the music picked up into a full swell with the same somber undertones, but now a
harried frenzy on top of it. The dancer's torso and slippers turned a dark, almost black green
symbolizing life choked by darkness. Her drape turned into a steely gray from one hand while
streaks of black swam into it as different sized bands, painted by the fingers in her other hand.
She held the scarf and spiraled, the ominous gray cloak and its shadows enveloping her,
encircling her, representing the harsh obstacles trying to bring her down, her environment trying
to crush her in its grip. Her steps and movements held the same frenzied, sharp pace, even at
times jerked back or abruptly halted as the music represented the enemies and obstacles
slamming into the portrayed figure. The dance turned from a life battling to be lived to an
attempt at escape.
Black blotches widened on her torso, filled with an ugly greens and yellows -- bruises on her soul
from being beaten down. Then, a final chord of all instruments came down against her.
Trickling into the echoes of this, like a soothing whisper to the beleaguered ear, came soft tones
that drifted out to the audience, easing the fretful air from the just ended battle. This was the
second portion: Healing. The dancer's motions were weighted down as if too hurt to do more.
The same small movements touched the stage as before without the frenzy, her head not even
lifted to the crowd with her spirit too wounded to meet anyone's eyes.
Above the main chords came low trills similar to warbling birds, and now an underplay of gentle
ttiart'e'ti drums, like the graceful, precise steps of the kyih that always reminded Setik of a Terran
deer's movement. The whole portion with its sounds of quiet animal life and imitated breezes
brought to his mind his father's favorite vista here on Vulcan, the grottos of Earth's North
American forests, the Serengeti's plains, and any oasis he had ever seen. Even the dancer's feet
picked up this rhythm as the bruises on her costume began to fade. Her motions showed building
strength as the music now played out a journey as she moved about the stage, renewing her life's
dance.
The third portion swept with fresh lightness and speed: Esteem. The costume became flesh
colored while the drape grew into the tans of desert sands and the darker streaks of mountains.
Her head slowly came up, and the motions in arms and legs gradually grew into longer, graceful
strides and sweeps. The portrayed figure sought out who she was and started finding her stride.
A pulse of string instruments, then bright notes of a knlur reed, calling for the piece to move into
Adventure Home. Clear and quick, music and dancer swept into a mounting ascension, taking on
a splendor of depth. The dancer reached down and painted her now brown tunic with a slash of
white on each side as her drape became shades of the same russet color: the symbol of strength
going back to days of painting sehlats on cave walls. She carried herself with more boldness and
vigor as she not only rejoiced in a healing spirit and body, but passing minor obstacles that once
unified against her. She took the full stage on her path, passing over it lightly, her sweeping
motions and strides lifting the audience with her. Finally she began a slow spin, her tunic and
soft shoes melting into brilliant white, the symbol of the purity of intelligence, as her drape
turned to a mint green and spun in an outer spiral around her. Faster and faster, the tight spin
continued, grabbing the audience's heart and holding it mid-beat until a crescendo of music, and
the dancer stopped far upstage and facing the audience, perfectly in control.
As the music swelled into a grand march, the tamsu strode to the audience as if it was the High
Council and Command itself. With a dancer's poised steps, she rivaled the great T'Pau in dignity
and bearing, head high and eyes bright with a surety of being.
Just as she reached the end of the stage, her seeming bow became a dance aptly fitting the name
of this segment: Celebration. Achievement, triumph, all the victory and attainment the woman
reached as she took off in a bounding gait, movements quick and uplifting. The reaching of a life
that overtook the adversity in its way, and nothing more than rejoicing in having reached here.
So did Setik with the dancer on stage. Her body costume turned the light, vibrant green for life
that the drape previously showed, and eventually red for Vulcan's soil, the cape changing to
yellows and orange-reds so she showed the color of a new sun dawning. It rippled and flowed
behind her as she matched the rhythm in the music with each movement until her leaps
culminated in one grand motion and she was air born for glorious seconds. She showed the soar
in a flowing, victorious spirit, her dark hair streaming back. Her head kept the regal lift when she
hit the last, majestic portion -- Meaning -- as she at last landed down center, arms aloft and body
drawn up in victory.
Vulcans argued on Serijek's actual story, some saying the woman received the acceptance
previously denied her while others equally stood fast that the woman reached true meaning: that
she needed no one's acceptance but her own. A last group insisted it wasn't about a woman at all,
but the achievement of the Vulcan mind. Serijek himself never said, and Setik only knew one
thing. He wanted the tamsu to start from the beginning and never let go of her spell over them
all.
The humans in the audience applauded the dancer in thunderous waves as they had for T'Pel.
Andorians pounded the backs of their seats with fists, and other aliens showed vocal
appreciation. The vibrations from it all struck Setik's ear, but he barely acknowledged it. Adelek
whispered, "My friend, breathe."
Good advice as he couldn't remember the last time he had done so; he was also clasping the arms
of his seat and sitting forward on its edge. He gave thanks for the darkness that covered his lack
of composure.
The non-Vulcans in the audience squinted in the dim light at their programs, but he had
memorized the boards outside. He knew the dancer's name and savored it in his mind. T'Qet.
The rest of the night, he waited for her to return to the stage. He never had a problem with his
human blood before -- he had his father to thank for breaking that barrier. But tonight, he chafed
under the human custom of having an intermission. It was interminable, as long as the eternities
he waited to see her dance again. He said nothing about it to his cousin or friend, and missed the
exchange of knowing glances between them. He heard T'Sha discuss T'Qet and how she was
unbonded, but failed to see the studious way she found out the information. As the lights came
up again in the audience when the concert ended, he merely stood and said to them, "I must meet
her."
T'Sha remained seated. "As I expected you to say, Cousin. However, we do not know her other
than her being a tamsu and student of T'Pel's. We cannot make the introduction."
Where was T'Pren when he needed her? His youngest sister was gifted in such things; she knew
everyone and how to address any situation. If she didn't know this woman personally, she would
know someone who did and know how to ask for his introduction. But T'Pren was serving in her
position as a junior Ambassador with the Diplomatic Corps.
He made a decision. "Then I will go to her myself."
He suited actions to words and was a few steps away when T'Sha called after him. He stopped
and whirled to stare her down. "T'Sha, if tradition cannot be--"
She interrupted. "If I may, Cousin?"
She slipped the cloak off his shoulders. He was unaware that the blue of his exposed tunic made
his eyes snap with distinction in his face. He only gave T'Sha a confused nod and left, too
preoccupied to feel a chill.
Halfway across the audience, he saw the crowd of humans, Andorians, even a few Tellarites
trying to reach the backstage area. Some of his own people blocked the entranceway allowing no
one past.
Once more thwarted, Setik searched through the audience, wondering if another doorway existed.
Even better, he saw one of the musicians who was an admirer of his sister, T'Kel. She did not
return the interest, but Setik discarded that fact for the moment.
"Sumig," he said and greeted the other male properly. "I commend you on the performance."
Sumig barely accepted the compliment as he asked if T'Kel was present.
"No, she is offworld with her engineering team. They visit Bateau, a small Federation world with
a new theory on sensor arrays. As you know, T'Kel joined the Science and Exploration
division--"
Instead of Starfleet for she blames them for Mother's loss.
"--And is quite interested in new areas of starship design."
Sumig said with some intensity, "Surely she must return home for the Van-kal Vesht-var? She
promised to take part in it, correct?"
A Vulcan does not lie. "Yes, she did. She returns in one point seven three months. However,
Sumig, if I may change the conversation, I ask you a favor. An introduction to one of the tamsu?"
The other male gave him the same shrewd look he had received from T'Sha and Adelek. "Of
course. I understand your position, Setik. These situations are always eased by a mutual
acquaintance or, in some cases, a relative?"
Hardly a subtle request. Setik agreed despite the troubling image of T'Kel's disapproval when
Sumig arrived at the house by her brother's invitation. But betraying his sister got him through
the ring of people waiting for a glimpse of the performers. He would find a way to make amends
to T'Kel -- if he was fortunate.
Then he was backstage -- and there she was, T'Qet, standing to one side speaking to a few
admirers. Every word in his extensive vocabulary deserted him. What could he ever say that
would make her remain after their initial greeting?
No time to select the best words. Sumig was speaking, "May I present a friend of mine? Healer
Setik."
With no sign of his inner upheaval, Setik dipped his head in a bow. "Your performance was
exemplary, T'Qet."
He gave a passing thought to how Ruanek would rebuke him if he heard Setik use someone's
name without permission. However, Ruanek wasn't here; he was working amongst the Romulans
with Spock, and Setik very much wanted to use T'Qet's name as if he were allowed it.
She glanced at him over her shoulder almost dismissively, and then suddenly stopped, her exotic
eyes looking into his fully. She bowed her head in return. "You pay me a high compliment,
Healer. I am unsure my performance warrants it."
"Setik, if you would. After all, I have used your name." She nodded, and he breathed easier. She
also stayed so he ventured further discussion. "And your talent more than earns my
compliments."
"You often attend our productions?"
No, but he was going to in the future. "My family has always had an appreciation of music and
dance. When I heard this evening combined the compositions of Serijek with the forte of your
group, I knew I must come tonight."
"You know Serijek's music well?"
Safer ground. "Yes. I believe I heard his work amongst the first sounds in my infancy." It was
quite the truth; both Sarek and Spock studied the great composer.
A glow suffused the duskiness of her skin. "I believe I am the same. It is my greatest honor that
my teacher allowed me to be part of this production featuring him. What do you most appreciate
of his music?"
He didn't get a chance to answer. Some silent signal made T'Qet look around. "I must go. I need
to change, and they prepare to close the theater."
His rapid descent in spirit was reversed when she looked at him again. "Many of the performers
are going to Sa'kasu's teahouse. Do you know of it?" She waited for his nod. "Perhaps you will be
there and we may continue our discussion?"
He dared for more. After all, earning T'Kel's vengeance over Sumig must be worth it. "May I
suggest I wait for you here? It is a pleasant walk to Sa'kasu's, and it gives us further time to talk."
"Your wait may be long," she warned.
"I am capable of great patience." He folded his hands behind his back, presenting himself as the
epitome of his words.
She watched him for a long second before an indefinable light glinted in her eyes. "Then I accept
your suggestion." The nod of her head was much smaller this time, allowing her to keep eye
contact. That something indefinable grew. "Setik."
Five minutes into his wait, he discovered his cousin's intelligence exceeded his. She sent his
cloak backstage; he needed it for the night air.
The walk with T'Qet surpassed even his expectations. He admired the way she moved as she
walked, so graceful and light. Her voice was clear and slightly deep, and her insights showed a
strong intelligence. He discovered he deliberately asked questions needing lengthy answers so he
could listen to her longer.
Their conversation was lively featuring music in general and favorites like Serijek in particular.
At first, it was all they discussed, but at some point, Setik found he answered questions about
himself. He wasn't sure how the conversation steered that way, but he was more than willing to
talk about whatever she wanted.
"What area of medicine do you practice, Setik?"
At that moment, he was lamenting she wore a cloak, even though the deep red complimented her.
He had formed a vision of sweeping his around her shoulders based on McCoy's stories of gallant
behavior. Except such thoughts were illogical. Of course T'Qet would have a cape. And he would
be chilled without his. "I recently changed my area of specialty. My original intentions were for
xenobiology and surgery. I had planned, since childhood, to join Starfleet."
"Are your parents healers?"
A twinge. A flash of memory... of his mother's uniform... his father's Ambassador's robes.... "No,
but I had their support." And then he thought of McCoy again. "I did have a role model for my
career, but my desire for it goes back further." He hesitated, and knew by it and all the other
memories tonight that he was not yet done grieving. "I saw my mother.... injured when I was
quite young. I watched as a Starfleet physician helped her when others could not. I suppose,
subconsciously, I saw medicine as a way to.... protect my family."
And yet, I was not there to save my mother wherever she lay dying. Or my grandfather. A sense
of failure tightly bound itself with his mourning; failure to do as a man what the little boy vowed
to do.
Both T'Qet's expression and voice were warm. "An honorable ambition. And yet--" she cocked
her head curiously "--you say you changed it?"
He nodded, pleased that she took such an interest in him. "I altered my specialty to has-sak-tal,
specifically the area of Bendii Syndrome. It has meant returning to the Science Academy for a
new residence in epidemiology, but I serve on a medical team for discovering an earlier detection
system."
"Another honorable ambition. We lose too many people to the syndrome. You must have heard
of Sarek's illness and death."
He was about to say Sarek was his grandfather and the reason why he changed his career, but
they reached Sa'kasu's teahouse. A few of the other performers arrived as well and greeted T'Qet.
She introduced him and asked after T'Pel, but the lead dancer had gone with her husband, Tuvok,
on leave from Starfleet.
They entered the teahouse and found a number of the audience waiting. Setik carefully stepped
back, giving T'Qet room to receive her due appreciation, but she kept an eye on him, warming
him further towards her.
At last she made a polite removal from the group. "Most tables appear taken," she told Setik.
That was odd. He thought he saw at least two available seats in the far corner. Someone must be
reserving them.
She continued. "However, a small area in the rear of the teahouse is unknown to most people and
therefore is likely to be unoccupied. If you do not mind being away from the main room?"
He did not and thought how fortunate they were that T'Qet knew where to find a table. The
backroom was quite private, intimate, as well as being less crowded.
He removed his cape, and caught her watching him as he pulled the back length of his hair out of
his collar.
"Do you grow it for the Van-kal Vesht-var?" she asked.
"Yes." He stroked his chin. "The beard as well."
"It will suit you, the long hair," she said. "And the beard. It suits you already."
He resolved never to cut either hair or beard again.
Someone took their order and then they were alone again. The table contained a small firepot
built into the surface. He found the effect of its light along T'Qet's features more than esthetically
pleasing.
"It is good to hear you are taking part in the upcoming celebration," she said.
He wondered about her intense interest. Surely she was not one of those obsessed with House
status? The statement made her appear so. Only the oldest and most noble houses had family
members in the early part of the celebration. "Is it?" he asked.
"Yes. A few people from our company such as T'Pel and myself have been asked to work as
instructors. I will most likely see you there."
He was guaranteed to see her then, to spend time with her and more than once in the future. Quite
satisfactory.
"In which portion of the dance will you be seen?" she asked.
"The first." He no longer thought she hunted for his House rank, so he did not hesitate with his
answer.
A spark of firelight caught in her eye. "Then your ride on a khu'unla will suit you as well as your
appearance."
He nodded, but suggested lightly, "You may compliment me too soon. Fortunately, I was taught
to ride at a young age--" By my parents, especially Mother. "--or I may be more concerned about
taking my place in the ceremony."
He imagined what that moment was going to be like. The Van-kal Vesht-var starting with the
planet's birth out of fire, music and flame bathing the arena until a globe rose from the pit of
controlled inferno. One type of drum -- the hlt'tkaea --mimicking the sound and vibration of
approaching hoof beats while the lighter ttiart'e'ti pounded out a warrior's heartbeat. The joined
percussions growing until the moment of crescendo sounded with a warrior's call. Charging on
their mounts into the arena were the first-born like him, of those families still remaining from
that historical dawn of the Great Houses. Ancient weapons like the lirpa, the ah-woon, and
snt'trkier held in their hands and strapped to their nomads clothing, catching the flames' light.
Then all of them dismounting and encircling the globe, signifying the end of tribal wandering to
the creation of the Houses.
"Who dances in the second and third stage?" T'Qet asked.
"My sisters. I have two. T'Kel already practices with the senapa." As Sarek taught her.
An ancient dueling weapon created during the age where house wars almost destroyed the planet,
and when nobility and honor barely survived in the violence. It was during this period when
blades, even the senapa, eventually succeeded to energy weapons, and the loyal vlaittlya mounts
-- heavier and with a better natural armor than the modern khu'unla -- were made extinct by the
constant battles. The sehlat almost followed them.
The second born of the families, that meant T'Kel, took to the circle for this archaic age, being
bathed in the light at the end as another circle rose above them, encircling the globe with statues
of Surak and his followers. The final age, when T'Pren took over for her brother and elder twin,
was for the age of peace that continued through the present where the ancient Houses were joined
by new ones formed from Surak's followers. Then more performers entered, regardless of House,
and celebrated when peace enabled the world to focus on more than violence: the arts, the
sciences, and all other professions necessary to support the planet and their culture. Red-hot coals
from the fiery globe launched into the night air, one for each world Vulcan exploration first
discovered. Then T'Pren and her fellow performers left their circle to join the audience as every
person, buoyed by a grand chorus they sang with, cycled through the arena, bathed in the embers
from the globe as it still cast orange light on the people of Vulcan.
"Do you already have a partner?" T'Qet asked him.
A partner -- he and his sisters would each need a partner. For every portion of the dance, the
partner joined the family member, representing marriage and the generations that followed that
union. In a previous Van-kal Vesht-var, his father and mother had danced together.
"No, I do not." The memory lowered his voice and T'Qet grew concerned.
"I apologize. I appear to have said something wrong."
"Not at all." He forced the memory away, smoothing his countenance once more to proper
Vulcan lines. He'd rather not dwell on negative thoughts, but he also did not want her to think she
insulted him. "My parents once represented our family in the ceremony. And my mother....
recently died."
Her voice hushed as well and her eyes darkened. "And your father?"
Now was not the time to see if she thought Unification branded Spock a traitor. "He is away with
his work. I will not see him for some time, if ever." When would he ever see his father again? "I
do not mean to sound disapproving. I am quite the opposite for my father."
"And yet his absence is more difficult with the loss of your mother." T'Qet laid her hand next to
his, not touching but near. "I grieve with thee, Setik."
The moment lengthened, and he sought no ending for it, but the waiter returning with their order
interrupted them. They sat quiet, looking across the table at the other, until the man left.
Setik returned to their previous topic. "You mentioned my partner. I am told that if I do not have
one, one will be assigned to me."
T'Qet made a thoughtful sound as she took a small sip from her cup.
"Perhaps," he hazarded, "you may instruct me so I will not harm her with my lack of expertise?"
Reflections from the firepot glowed in her eyes. "Oh yes, I believe I can ensure it's so. In fact, I
will make certain your partner is of such experience, she can show you the dance."
His interest waned with the thought she would not be his instructor. "That would be kind." He
sipped from his own cup. "However, I have monopolized the conversation. Will you be taking
part in the ceremony? Besides being a teacher?"
Her fingers trailed lightly across the cup's rim. "I thought not. I have danced for the second
portion in the past."
"So you have an older sibling. Or did another family member represent the first period? And
perhaps the third?"
"I have an older brother. My parents had two children, but the second, another brother, died. I
was actually born many years after that loss. But as for this Van-kal Vesht-var, I have cousins
who will represent the family. Although I have quite recently entertained the idea of dancing in
the ceremony in another capacity."
It looked less and less like he'd have the opportunity to see her if she was busy elsewhere. He
murmured that anything she did would be of benefit to the festival, and then directed their talking
to her other plans.
"Tonight was the last of this particular production," she explained. "We begin rehearsals for our
next show. You will want to see it. It is T'Mesana's Life is Peace."
They settled into this discussion, paying no heed to anything else around them until reality thrust
itself in the form of an acquaintance, Suraj. Setik began to greet him when T'Qet surprisingly did
so.
"I did not expect to see you here," she said.
Suraj was looking from one of them to the other, a curious expression on his face. "I did not
expect to see the two of you together anywhere."
What an odd thing to say. Setik took affront to it; he saw T'Qet did as well. "Have you a reason
for finding it so unusual?"
"I apologize for any perceived rudeness. I was simply unaware you knew each other."
"We did not until tonight."
"And you decided that the maxim is true, the past is the past? What happens in one's House....?"
Setik cocked his head back as he regarded Suraj in surprise. To what was he referring? He was
one of those who held some repute for House status, and would never associate with someone of
a lesser family. It was the reason why Setik cooled their friendship. Was Suraj saying T'Qet was
of a lesser family than Setik's? Or.... did he dare believe, as some did, that Saavik's half-Romulan
blood tainted Spock's line?
In his peripheral vision, he saw T'Qet's eyes widen and realized he had closed his inner eyelids.
They probably reflected some light; they did at times. He opened them. "My apologies, T'Qet. An
old habit. I am not always aware I have done it."
She brushed that aside, watching him carefully for another reason. "Setik.... I believe he refers to
the fact I was previously married."
"Previously. Not currently?"
"No or I would not be here. My husband ended our marriage when he chose to study at Gol. Does
this fact concern you? Or--" She considered Suraj and abruptly looked back at Setik. She pulled
back from the table, the warm light in her expression blanked out just as the firepot no longer lit
her eyes. "Are you planning to pursue Kolinahr?"
He assured her he was not. T'Selis had taught him his healer's controls, adept as she was from her
time at Mount Seleya. But neither of them sought Kolinahr.
And he cared nothing about a husband in the past with no chance to reappear in the future. He
had deduced T'Qet was older than he was, although a Vulcan's slow physical aging held back the
fact she was old enough to have been already married. As a physician, he knew her already in a
fertility cycle could affect his own cycle, especially as it hadn't started. But that was only if the
relationship reached as far as being bonded. Either way, their age difference made no hindrance
to him.
"I believe Suraj refers to my mother's family." He silently brought recriminations down on the
other male. Still, if T'Qet was the type to disfavor a son of Saavik and Spock for the Romulan
and Human blood -- or call his father a traitor for his reunification goal, it was better to find out
now. He knew, without any egotistic vein, that T'Qet returned his interest. What he didn't know,
being inexperienced in these matters, was he saw T'Qet's attraction because she let him.
Suraj interrupted. "I refer to none of these things." He glanced at them again, quizzically. "Do
you not know?" His head reared back when they continued staring at him. "I see." He frowned in
thought and then nodded. "Perhaps it is better left unsaid, but I think you would prefer knowing
the obstacle."
Setik looked across the table at T'Qet as she looked back with the same expression.
Suraj said almost in apology, "Setik, son of Spock, may I introduce you to T'Qet, daughter of
T'Pring."
Epilogue
In a dark spot of the Klingon Empire....
The Romulan woman, Ragnhilh, stared around the dank, cramped cell she shared with too many
of her own kind. She squatted on her heels with what little regained strength she had. Better that
than lean against the dripping, stone wall oozing bacteria as well as water. Or sit on the
disgusting floor slick with draining moisture, blood, and sewage. Everyone, including her,
shivered in the cold air, their naked bodies wet from the latest torture by their Klingon captures:
flooding the cell, forcing the prisoners to tread water until exhaustion caused them to stop and
drown. Hjerol died this time, his body by the door, desperate vermin, as famished as the
prisoners, daring to come out to eat at him even as the Romulans tried to kill them for food.
Hjerol wasn't one of her people, but Ragnhilh hated losing anyone. Her cellmates sucked in foul
air, recovering as best they could before the torture started over again.
For no reason. We've been here too long for our information to be of any good. Every access
code and Fleet movement we know has been changed by now
No reason except their captors' sadistic pleasure, feeding the Romulans' hatred. Even when they
were allied, Klingons and Romulans barely got along; their treaties in the past based more on a
mutual enemy -- the Federation -- than any sort of kindred spirits. With their alliance gone, long
buried loathing came freely into the open. Which was why Ragnhilh and others rotted in these
prisoner camps while captured Klingons rotted in Romulan ones. Forget the old policy of "Take
no prisoners"; torturing captives fed their unchained prejudices.
"Talk," Ragnhilh ordered with a modicum of her old command voice. Talking kept them going;
silence bred inner demons that killed as efficiently as the Klingons.
All eyes focused on her, some with more strength than others. She looked intently into the ones
that couldn't meet hers, the ones that were failing.
"This is no way to die!" someone snarled, the violence solid but the volume barely above the
sneaking vermin.
Even this conversation was better than silence; every day they had it. Choose the Final Honor, a
respectable suicide -- cheat the Klingons by choosing their deaths themselves -- or fight to live,
even if they only spit the fact they survived another day into her captors' faces. She preferred the
fight, but she honored those who choose differently, killing them painlessly.
She addressed the male who made the statement, wondering what he looked like before the
bruises, scars, and abrasions ruined his face. "Only our worst enemies deserve this."
Some looked to the door now where their guards moved around outside; other eyes flamed at the
thought of giving back the punishment they got.
The solid sound of the door's mechanism rumbled in the wall, signaling it was about to open.
Quick looks darted around, and the ones who could get to their feet readied themselves to rush
the opening.
The gray metal door slid open sideways with a reverberating noise, its fast speed giving little
time to prepare a charge. Ragnhilh and three others hurtled themselves at it, not caring they had
no weight or strength for a real fight.
But the Klingons flung a body into the cell, throwing it right into them and crashing them all to
the floor. One large guard aimed his boot for the ribs of one male struggling to his feet, and teeth
were bared even as spirits grew more beaten.
The new prisoner lay in a heap, stripped to the skin like they were, showing scars and fresh
wounds. Laying face down, she was steeped in the diseased muck coating the floor, but she didn't
move. Ragnhilh swallowed hard in anger.
No time to think on that as the Klingon, with a sordid smile of exposed fangs, grabbed the naked
woman around her neck and waist, and brought her hard up against him. Bile rose in Ragnhilh's
throat at the thought of what might happen next. Ghosts of her own rapes throbbed in her body,
and she made the quick decision that saving this woman from that violent indignity, even for a
few moments, was a proper way to die.
No need since the woman herself came to furious life. Catching her attacker off guard with her
suddenness, her fingers stabbed him in the eye, and her heel came up under his protective body
armor, striking his groin hard. His snarl over being blinded was nothing to the explosive cursive
as he doubled over, waves of crampy pain keeping him down and vulnerable even as he struggled
to get out of the cell. He had no air to move or shout, but his comrades in the hall were watching
and swarmed over the woman. She snarled in defiance as they jumped her, but the end was
inevitable. Their beating brought the sound of a snapping bone like a phaser shot in the confined
area. Ragnhilh hurriedly polled her cellmates in a glance, asking who was willing to die for
someone about to be killed, when in shocking surprise, the Klingons backed off.
"You don't get to die that easy," one sneered into the woman's face. They manacled her on one
arm only, her feet just off the floor. Ragnhilh's face creased in sympathy at thought of the
unbearable pain that was going to shoot through that shoulder very soon.
She was across the cell as soon as the Klingons cleared out. This woman may be new to their
group, but she had been a prisoner much longer than Ragnhilh. Her body testified to it as the
veteran soldier identified scars and wounds from different Klingon weapons and €̃interrogation'
devices.
Before she could utter a word, the woman's eyes blazed as she grew close with a look reserved
for bitter enemies. The raw emotion was so overwhelming, it was as if the woman existed only
as that. What caused it? Some old House war or some unknown rival from her long career in the
Fleet? The woman didn't look familiar, but who knew what they were before here?
She stopped. "Whatever feud you might have with me, you got to leave outside this place. We
group together here. " She waited until that angry glance simmered down to a wary, careful
watch. Then she stepped into the woman's personal space without ever breaking their locked
gazes. "We'll get you through this. If we can."
She wrapped her arms around the bony hips and lifted. The other woman's weight was nothing, a
bag of bones covered by skin, that's all. But Ragnhilh's strength was nothing too, except the
infinitesimal amount of lift she achieved meant less strain on that shoulder. "You'll have to take
over soon by holding on to the chain with your other arm. But rest now. We'll swap as we get
tired."
Again she took in each cellmate, asking for volunteers. Who knew how long they could keep
this up before the Klingons attacked them again as a whole, but each battle at a time. She focused
on this one.
She felt the body against hers sag a bit, and she glanced up from where her head laid against the
other's ribs. The woman's head was looking down, and Ragnhilh received a stunning blow at
how blank that face was. Nothing showed as if the woman had disappeared from her body, going
somewhere inside herself, bottled up against anyone reaching her. Including the Klingons and
their interrogation.
I wish I knew how to do that. I've never seen that before!
"Somebody talk." Her arms were already giving way as her blood mixed with the other woman's
flowing freely from a fresh beating.
A youth, barely a man, spoke up. He came in only days ago, his childlike fever dying under
being a prisoner, but still too alive with revenge to seek Final Honor. "Is anyone else here new
enough that they heard the latest about Spock?"
Everyone recognized the name. Of course they did.
"Not only does he invade our homeworld as he tries putting us under Vulcan's boot heel, he now
causes more treachery in the hearts of loyal people! Vice Proconsul M'Ret has defected!"
This repugnant news about the hated Spock returned the defiance in all of them. "Did you hear
that?" Ragnhilh called to the woman she was holding, but she was looking at the boy who just
spoke so she didn't see the reaction. And she was too intent on listening to everyone's dreams of
being the one to kill the traitors and their enemy to hear the barely spoken whisper.
The woman hanging painfully from the wall formed words, names of a family too far away. If
she ever was to be the Saavik she once was, she needed her husband and children to free her
mind from where she kept it protectively locked. That name, the one the others cursed, triggered
her lips to call only in a breath's volume to the people who were the keys to that mental lock.
"Spock. Setik. T'Kel. T'Pren." And then with no volume at all, Do not forget me.
Note: The Katra fí-Salan idea first came from Sands of Vulcan. More about the holiday can be
found in the round robin "Souls in the Wind" at spockandsaavik.com