The Chase

Lady Tristania:

Sweet, little girl, Saavik's background. Like the idea and the story. Keep up the good work!!!!!

Sierra:

Fantastic.

Marla:

This was truly beautiful. Painful. Connected perfectly from child to Saavik, from adult Saavik to the child Saavik, from Spock to Saavik and Saavik to Leena. Perfect. With all the past anger and hatred and fear to the present--and showing what is still to come. A cycle. Spock broke the first with Saavik. Now she is trying to break it again with this child. With her fellow officers. With herself. It is the simple images that hit the hardest in this story: The child trying to not see the blood, Saavik's careful quiet offer of comfort in opening her jacket, Saavik's struggle against the past this present stirs again, the officer's smell like Daddy, her fierce hold to the promise, Saavik watching her, and the tears that can only come when it is safe at last to cry.

You caught the child's trauma, her thought patterns. Her similiarity to Saavik. Her faith that Saavik would make the fighting stop. Would keep the Romulans away forever. Would find the others. That she was strong enough to do it. That it would then be okay again. The parallels between this child and Saavik are painful, and incredible.

You've caught everything--ugly and beautiful in the soul. And it hurts even as it gives Saavik's same promise. I loved it.

 

Amy:

Ooo, this is a clever little story. You managed to describe the setting accurately and your well flowing sentences were short eloquence.

Congratulations on this piece!

Joanna:

I liked everything. VH points out how this tramtically affected her. The look on the child's face as she glances back at Saavik chasing her or some gut-wrenching memory of knowing how the kid feels or perhaps just her motivation for why she refuses to let this little girl get away... she was that little girl and Spock wouldn't leave without her. How was Saavik affected by this scene?!

I really like the child's reaction... "I promise I'll..."

I like that the child wants Saavik to stay and find people.

The scenery and chase were well described. I could picture the ruined building and crumbling stair.

This was a good one, Kerry.

Jenny:

Why, you clever little minx.....

I fell for it! I really did.

Well done!

Wes:

This is a great short story. Like most people, I thought you were writing about young Saavik on Hellguard. It was a good story about the aftermath of the Tomed Incident. I liked Leena's thought bubbles. And the taking about food is a good way to try and reach out to a starving child.

Birgit:

Greatly written - I loved it! Especially that for half the story one thinks this is young Saavik, and then it all turns up differently :)

Christina:

This is outstanding. At first I thought it was a kind of flashback scene from Saavik's early years and was wondering where it would go. When Saavik caught the child it was then that I realized why you probably wrote this. To show how Saavik's early experiences make her an excellent person to assist someone in a similar situation. She'll be able to find and catch the survivors because she thinks like them. And can communicate with them (verbally and silently) because she knows where they've been. And we wonder what she's thinking and feeling..

We get sucked into the emotions of this story right from the start. Since I thought it was Saavik being described I added the years of emotions and experiences of Saavik as we've come to know her onto this character as I read about her. When it was revealed that it was a different child, then I felt for Saavik (wondering what she had to be feeling seeing this child run in terror from her). I felt for the child too, not just because of what horrors she had experienced up to this point, but because I wonder what kind of life she will have as a survivor. What similarities will she have with Saavik (obvious dissimilarities would be the possible existence of her mother, siblings, and the fact that she's not a Romulan/Vulcan hybrid)? What will Saavik's sleep be like the next night? The child's? It makes you wonder about a lot.

I liked this. It made me think and it made me feel.

TrekkyGirl55 (Saavikkam):

WOW!! Have you ever considered writing books about Trek?? This is BEAUTIFUL!! I love how you capture the little girl's emotions and how Saavik appears to her. Keep writing!