The Portrait

Arysta: submitted to ffn

Very nice work. Very nice. I enjoyed seeing the family side of Spock and Saavik, and the kids. I really enjoyed. Keep Writing!

Phaser Lady: submitted to ffn

I think this was a great story. It shows a side of Spock and Saavik that isn't usually seen. It shows a certain intimacy, that they have an acceptance of themselves and their relationship that other Vulcans don't always make apparent. You did some great work here.

Keridwen: submitted to ffn

Wow, what a way to get to know the family. Much appreciated!

I also loved they way that you inadvertantly, or not, showed the mind and workings of an artist.

Beautiful piece.

Joanna:

Great Job, Kerry!

The way you used the situation to characterize the family is what's most impressive; an independent observer who has a plausible reason for being in their household, and a very real reason to observe them.

The characterization of the family as a whole is also interesting. The reader definitely gets the feel of being in a house with three small children, a sehlat, and a very busy set of parents.

Jenny:

I loved this Kerry! I was engrossed from the start.

The kids, especially, came alive for me. I could almost see them and hear them.

I love that Spock and Saavik wanted the other portrait... That feels right to me. A tangible sign of their intimacy and closeness...... Yes, they would want that.

I really enjoyed their talk about Saavik's scars and Spock's chest.... They know each other so well, yet still, they can surprise each other.

Good job, Kerry!

Wes:

What a great character piece. And what a fascinating plot device. As always, I kneel down below a master author. I love your family
stories.

>"All fetuses start as a single fertilized egg," T'Pren began. Andra almost dropped her brush. <snip> "Peaceful" >and they were reminded to stop moving so much from the pose.

I wonder if identical twins in real life ever wonder what the "orginial" child would have been like. In
temperament, T'Kel and T'Pren are almost like Kirk when he was split in "Enemy Within". And I love Saavik's response to what it was like when they were one.

It's interesting that Setik seems to have some voluntary control of the inner eyelids. I never thought of that. I just assumed that they were reflexive.

> He steepled his fingers, listening as if she was the only person in the room,

Great discription of Spock.

>She watched Saavik rake over the painting. "Although that is not his chest. He has hair below the
> collarbone down the length of his
> torso. And I have a scar on my shoulder."
>
> "As well as one on the small of her back," Spock said.
>
> Saavik's eyebrows rose again. "I do?"
>
> He nodded. "It is insignificant and located where you could not easily reach it. Here," he indicated on the sketch.
>
> "Interesting that I have never noticed."

A great scene of Spock and Saavik as lovers.

>Andra's insides sank again. She thought they had stayed quiet because she hadn't given them enough.
> Instead, they thought she gave a list
> for them to choose from.

Damn quiet Vulcans (or damn the need for neverous humans to fill the silence with babbling).

> He raised an eyebrow. "I am more concerned for what our children will do to the desert than the opposite."

ROTFL. Those poor Le-Matyas never stood a chance!

Birgit:

Well, I am speechless. Great. Very visual. Very unusual idea. And an interesting solution.

Marla:

I like how you have made them here. They are themselves, natural, Vulcan, unique, living. This is what some writers do not know. The difference in writing that makes their's enjoyable but your's beautiful. They capture details but no souls. Emotions but no feelings. You balance dignity with self. Their alienness with their familiarity to us. It is a family the reader aches to remain with and be a part of. The intimacy of your setting makes everything, and your images are perfect, the tension of what must be done and what is allowed to be done are balanced.

Kim:

That was great!

Loved it! And again, you nailed the characters, I could picture the little gestures of Spock and Saavik, the individual characteristics of the kids. Loved the little insights into the kids, their dynamics and interactions. Setik's protectiveness over his mother -- seeing his parents like that, especially his mother, kicks that into high gear. The little comments that capture the poise, power and calm that is Spock. The way Saavik closes off at any questions touching on her parents. Her humor, the interplay between Spock and Saavik regarding their physical appearance, like the scar on her lower back.

Liked how you use the artist's POV, her thoughts and impressions of this family. Surprise, here's a holo of this couple. Perceptive of her, to see the fire in Saavik's eyes, giving her another insight into this couple. And she's expecting the worse, and they give her permission to paint it, with them posing so she doesn't have to guess about their bodies. You capture the artist's realization that this family is alien.

Marla:

Ah, yes! Now I'm getting a much better 'picture' (pardon the pun) of the family, which I find I like even more (if possible)! It's so nice to see characters with both strengths and weaknesses exposed (another pun, I believe). Excellent!

Meakashi Gosterful:

Oh I like this fic. It shows the style and emotions of the artist perfectly. I enjoy the way you wrote this, and just want to say, Keep it up!
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