For Chapters 1 & 2:
Great beginning. I wanted to scream at the computer screen when Saavik told
Valeris about Hellguard. You could just see the damage Valeris was about to inflict,
and could see her gloating on the inside. Well, I could. But I may have been a bit biased.
Anyway, I loved Amanda's humor in this situation, and Saavik's response. And the sleepwear discussion; that was great.
And now Amanda knows; this should be very interesting.
For Chapter 4:
All I can say is ... damn. :D
Well, okay. I can say more.
Spock and Saavik are such idiots -- if they'd only sit down and talk about the
situation, instead of wallowing in guilt and trusting Valeris to handle this,
everything would be much better. But then Marla wouldn't have a story ...
decisions, decisions. I'm torn. ;)
**Spock's gaze whipped back up, probing the Romulan's face intensely. Archernar
raised his eyebrow innocently in return while Amanda scowled at them both.**
Male posturing. Gotta love it.
**they returned to Valeris, and something new filled the look she gave the cadet:
perception. Amanda resisted the urge to laugh.** Does this mean Saavik's onto her?
Dare I hope?
Very nice, Marla. I especially like how Amanda won't let Valeris into her house
anymore, thus creating even more tension between Amanda and Spock. Valeris
certainly earned the last part of her name.
For Chapter 5:
First of all, cliffhangers aren't nice! After watching TNG, we should all know that. :)
Now for the story. I am in awe. I truly am. More!!! (I can't believe there's
only one more chapter after this -- it's not enough!
Spock is being very illogical and very, very rude. I'd almost say it was out of
character for him, except that you make reference to the burning blackness of his
eyes and Amanda's alarm that it might be Pon Farr. Nice job there. It would also
explain Spock's rudeness towards Saavik (I can't believe he insulted her like that)
as well, b/c it brings to mind his behavior towards T'Pring when she forced him to
"kill" Kirk. And Spock didn't even like T'Pring all that much, so I can imagine how
much worse it is, given how much he cares for Saavik.
I like how Saavik defends Spock, even though they currently have problems. That's
just so ... Saavik.
And again, good balance between humor and drama. Lots of drama.
**Amanda elbowed him viciously and nearly sloshed her champagne.** LOL!!!
**Spock turned away and moved further into the crowd.** Sigh. Idiot.
**The young cadet met Amanda's gaze calmly. And stepped closer to Spock.**
Evil. evilevilevil. Evil.
And Spock was just looking for a reason to cut lose, which Saavik gave to him.
And I liked the coin part.
I can't wait to see what Valeris and Saavik talk about.
For Chapter 6:
Saavik let Valeris have him ?????? Nononononono. That's not how it's suppose to
happen. Marla, we need the next story right away.
Also, I'm wondering if I missed something. I never saw Saavik's response to
(okay, the Romulan guy whose name I can never spell -- I'm calling him the spider
from now on) the spider, nor did I see Saavik and Valeris have the evalution after
dinner. (Both scenes would have been *nice* ) Am I suppose to infer?
And Valeris breaks her word, b/c if Kirk and McCoy had died, that would have done a
lot of harm to Spock.
But I like how Saavik's very honorable. She lets Valeris have the post, even
though Valeris should have kept her mouth shut and just went with it.
And Sarek's tricky. :D